Self love and where to find it

So recently things have been a little quiet. There are reasons for this and my intuition (which I’ve learnt to really listen to) is telling me to rest, to not be too hard on myself and to only set myself intentions that help me move forward with the areas of my life that need a little more focus. The other things can wait. Right now, there is space needed just for me to ‘be’.

Really tuning in and learning to be kind to myself isn’t something that comes naturally. Like so many people I work hard, I challenge myself and feel guilty if I haven’t achieved what I set out to do. If things aren’t going well for the people I love, then it affects me. If I struggle to find the right solution to something, or if things aren’t going the way I would like them to be, then it bothers me. I am however, better equipped to deal with these things now more than ever.


Today I am kind enough to give myself what I need in the moment and I always try my best to do this
without judgement.

Today I can acknowledge that my own intuition is far greater than any trend or persons opinion.

Today I love the person that I am – from the mistakes that I’ve made, to the things I am most proud of.


It’s not easy. But extending love is always the answer, even if this does sound cheesy or hippy or just really far from where you are currently at. It can be done.


Sarah Joy - Self love

Self-love is defined by you.

Self-love starts with taking responsibility with your life. In order to reach unconditional love towards yourself, you need to learn to be responsible. Responsible for every aspect of the person you are – for your actions, for your thoughts, for your habits, for the way you speak to yourself, for the way you treat the body that you live in.

When things aren’t going well, I try my best to focus on the things that are within my control – the rest I really can’t do anything about, and I mean that (actually quite mind blowing – shit all this time I’ve wasted worrying). I like to ask myself what I need from a loving, caring and non-judgemental perspective.

Once I understand that I’m responsible for making the change – be that a change in the way I’m thinking about something, my behaviour or an action that needs to happen, I can start to make small adjustments.

Self-love is about being responsible for your inner environment so that your outer environment can reflect everything you’ve been cultivating and longing for. If you constantly speak to yourself in a negative way for example, is it really so surprising that other aspects of your life follow a similar negative pattern?

Taking responsibility is committing to yourself first and foremost. It’s about making decisions that help you move closer towards the whole person you want to be.


The decision that you’ve had enough

The decision that you’re worthy of more

The decision to heal from mistakes

The decision to love yourself no matter the circumstances


Sarah Joy - Self love

Taking responsibility

I like this idea that our external environment is often a reflection of what’s going on for us on the inside. I take responsibility for my life and how I feel by:


Eating foods that fuel my body and my mind and make me feel good – from chocolate, to a big green smoothie or salad.

Spending time with friends and family that make me laugh, make me feel comfortable being just the way I am, make me feel alive.

Moving my body in ways that make me feel strong or fit or sometimes just calm.

Paying attention to my thoughts, living mindfully and trusting in my intuition.

Saving and investing in my passions and dreams.

Getting outdoors, building a comfortable home and a family that I love and doing new things that I’ve not experienced before.

Caring less about what other people think and more on what all this feels like to me.


Self-love isn’t just about putting a face mask on or taking a bath because you like it (as lovely as this is), it’s about continuously developing discipline and self-respect for yourself. It’s acknowledging that you’re the one with who is responsible for where you go in this world. It takes believing, more than anything else that you are capable and worthy of kindness, love and success in any measure or form.


S/Joy x


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